Dragons are crazy
by Redpunter
Summary: Who here likes Lissana kicking Lucy out of the guild? What about the highschool AU set up by OVA 2? Do you hate Lemon's? What about making characters OOC? Well, all these issues and more addressed in the stupidest way possible. Right from Natsu's mouth
1. Vacation and Fanservice

"Anyone ever notice that we never really get a vacation anymore?" Natsu asked as he gulped down his fire. He, along with Gajeel, Laxus, Sting, Rogue, and Cobra were currently located in the Dragonslayer Club House they had built behind Fairy Tail. They had decided to establish a Dragonslayer organization, so they needed a headquarters. One of the few requirements was that you had to be 18, so poor Wendy was left out.

"I don't get what you mean Salamander, mind explaining?" Gajeel muttered with iron bolts in his mouth.

"I mean I haven't gotten a vacation in months, every other week it's something else. About a year ago, I did the Galuna Island mission, came back and boom, guild war with Phantom Lord. Then I had to fight Jellal at the Tower of Heavens, an S class wizard for fuck's sake, then I had to come back and fight Laxus, another S class wizard not even a week or two later!" Natsu exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.

"Well, at least you got a small break after that" Rogue responded

"That because the anime stopped for a bit, then I had to fight the Oracion Seis, then I didn't even get to rest much before I had to go through the Daphne arc.." Natsu was interrupted

"I thought we all agreed to forget that arc?" Sting said with horror in his eyes.

"Right…. Anyways, after an arc I can't remember, I had to go to Edolas and fight a dragonsuit impervious to dragon attacks!"

"Yo, Salamander, I had to fight that thing too" Gajeel pointed out

"Yeah, but then again, you weren't on a 4 month streak of none stop life and death adventures were you?" Natsu retorted

"Fair point" was all Black Steel said

"Then I came back and I had to fight about half of the second strongest dark guild on the face of the planet only to get owned by a giant black dragon of destruction." Natsu said pounding his head into the bar.

"That's what you get for being the main character" Laxus said dryly

"I know, but Naruto at least gets filler in between the big fights to kick back, let the secondary character's get some development. I mean really, one of the few times I remember where I actually didn't do anything was the Fairy Woman bullshit. I mean really they padded the crap out of that episode, did you noticed that they slowly went up each character to just buy time in the boutique? Also, if I've done my count correctly, Lucy's been in a maid outfit about 5 times, Erza 2 or 3, and Wendy just got her first time in episode 222, round of applause for our sister" clapping echoed throughout building

"Yeah, what's with the animators and drawing all the female characters in revealing clothing? I mean bunny girl always ends up in some revealing outfit, or heck, sometimes, none at all!" Gajeel yelled

"This is ridiculous, I mean we barely ever get free time, the females are always in skimpy outfits, except for Wendy and maybe Erza.." Laxus stopped as Gajeel coughed

"Hem…..hem…..Opening 17…Hem…Hem Opening 18…..Hem…..Hem….probably all her armors…" Gajeel mentioned

"Oh yeah, forgot about that opening, I wasn't in it!" Laxus yelled

"It's ok Laxus, if it make you feel better, we didn't appear it either" Sting replied

"It doesn't make me feel better, you guys aren't even in Fairy Tail, there would be no reason for you to be in it" Laxus exclaimed

"Well, at least I'm in most of the openings nowaday's" Gajeel muttered

"Yeah, but I mean you're basically main cast now." Cobra replied

Everyone jumped at Cobra's voice.

"Oh Cobra, I forgot you were here." Natsu said

"Yeah, I forgot that weaklings like you were here" He smirked

"You asshole, do you forget who beat you? In fact, I've beaten every dragonslayer I possibly can!" Natsu yelled as everyone raised their eyebrows.

"and before you say it, no I'm not going to go and beat up a 12 year old girl, I at least I have that much respect" Natsu then muttered under his breath "plus, Mira and Erza would kill me, not to mention you guys"

**Fun little story I whipped up as just imagine the possibilities! This could lead to some humorous scenarios. Also, inside the bar, they are hyper aware of whats happening. They know its a manga/anime/fanfiction, and just roll with it. Natsu becomes less dense, and for the most part, becomes a cocky son of a. I have 2 other chapters dones at this moment, but I need more suggestions, so please review, follow, favorite.**


	2. Shipping

"Anyone ever notice the amount of crack ships in the fandom?" Natsu said with his eyes closed on a recliner

"Yeah, like Nalu" Laxus said with a smirk

"HUH!?" Natsu jumped up

"Yeah, Lucy's dating this guy now, she told Levy he's super cute, basically now mean's Nalu is a crack ship" Gajeel said with a smirk

Natsu ran out of the building to hunt for his Luce.

"Ok, Rogue, go grab the master book for ships" Sting said

"I shall start from the top"

Meanwhile, outside, Natsu, Lucy, Gray, Erza, and Wendy were listening in.

"Natsu x Lucy" No response from either party

"Natsu x Lissana" Natsu whispered "She's like a sister"

"Natsu x Gray" as if on cue, both parties were puking

"Natsu x Erza" Natsu could hear Laxus say "I like the occasional douse, but I personally ship Nalu"

"Natsu x Wendy" Both parties paled as they heard Cobra say "Anyone every read innocent infatuation chapter 4?"

"That one? How could I forget?" Gajeel said sadly

"Hold on, I've never heard that one, can you read it aloud?" Rogue replied

"Well, there's a reason that we brought this one up, so I'll just jump to that part" Sting replied

"She imagined Natsu looking at her, touching her, kissing her. Wendy smiled "_I want you…"_

Outside both Wendy and Natsu were taking turns puking into a trash can.

"Oh Mavis why would anyone make something like that…." Natsu puked

"Is this what it's like to have motion sickness? I hope I never get it!" Wendy screamed as she uped chunks again

Lucy, Erza, and Gray kept listening, their faces getting paler by the second until Lucy screamed

"THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE SE…..SE….Se… you guys know what I mean!" Both of them had stopped puking, but after what they had just heard, they restarted their cycle.

"I hate my life, why do people even make Fanfiction like that!" Natsu whimpered after finally losing his entire stomach. Poor Wendy decided to eat dinner before coming here, so she was still at it.

"Cheer up guys; at least it wasn't a full lemon!" Lucy patted them both on the back

"So now guys, how about we talk about that horrid Natsu x Lucy x Wendy x Gajeel Lemon" Natsu stole a sword out of Erza's hand and stabbed himself.

"LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING!" Natsu yelled. Lucy was on the ground crying, and Wendy took a second to let it sink in before promptly falling back and passing out from such an idea featuring her brothers, and her close personal friend.

"Or how about Natsu x Hibiki, or Natsu x Ichiya" Natsu wanted to die, but of course, Mira and Wendy weren't going to let him, so through the window of the infirmary, he could hear them ramble all night about half baked Natsu ships

The next day, they had assembled to talk about the rest of the ships in the community.

"So, how many people here ship Jerza?" Gajeel, Laxus and Natsu raised their hands

"I prefer not to actually ship Erza, it seems like no one would be an equal to her" Rogue said

"Agreed" was all Sting replied with.

"Eh, true, but Jellal could handle her better than 90% of the world" Natsu chuckled

"So what about Gale?" Cobra asked

"OTP on my end" Rogue replied

"I personally haven't joined the Gale community, but I'm starting to dip my feet in" Sting replied

"Metalhead, that's a perfect match for you, go for it" Laxus patted him on the back

"Miraxus?" Natsu proposed

"It's the age old question, I would say I do ship it" Gajeel replied

"Well, MiraFreed is also pretty goofy" Natsu replied

"True, I ship both mutually" Rogue said

"Rowen?" Laxus brought up

"Now that you mention it, if you checked the chapter with the map, the next closest persons are Macao and Romeo, who knows, maybe Rowen could become a Semi-canon ship." Gajeel explained

"Well, don't forget episode 166, that had a small amount" Natsu bowed in the general direction of that small amount.

"Your OTP Natsu?" Sting asked

"Definitely, it's just so adorable!"

"Of course if he does try to, we have to play the big brother card regardless" Laxus instructed

"Yeah, yeah, anyone ship Cana x Bacchus?" Natsu laughed

"Yeah, it's a nice small ship that's just great, anyone ship Cappy?" Sting questioned

"No, I ship Lily x Carla, or Charles…. Anyone actually know the name of that damn cat?" Gajeel asked

"Damn the fan's, they make it hard to distinguish canon and non-canon at times" Cobra replied

"What about CakeZa?" Cobra asked

"Oh my word yes! That is the best ship in the series by and far." Natsu chirped

"The amount of support Hiro is giving it is ridiculous, I think it'll become canon soon. Honestly, it's my second favorite ship." Laxus added

"Speaking of which…. I sorta stole Erza's cake earlier…." On que, the Titania broke down the door

"Where are you hiding my dearly beloved" Erza asked in a low voice.


	3. Fanfiction is Horrible Sometimes

"Anyone ever notice that Lucy being kicked out of Fairy Tail is starting to become cliché?" Natsu asked

"Nevermind Bunny Girl, notice that ANYONE being kicked out of the guild is starting to become cliché?" Gajeel corrected

"I know, last time I found a good Fanfiction like that, it was only good because the writers style made it interesting" Laxus responded

"Draconem Heart?" Natsu asked

"Yup" everyone replied in unison

"You know, I'm tired of people on Fanfiction just writing the stupidest ideas! Lucy get's kicked out of a guild, Truth or Dare, heck, sometimes we even up all dying except for one, normally Lucy or I depending on how they feel, and that person becomes the guild master and trains the next generation!" Natsu yelled

"Speaking of the next generation, that cliché is also over done. This is a summary of all those stories in a nutshell: Natsu and Lucy have a son and a daughter that becomes the main character, then they go on to marry either Gajeel and Levy's or Gray and Juvia's kid. But first they form teams and go into half baked arc's that leave you wondering, Why?" Laxus exclaimed

"Or, howb aboutsfg when poeples doesn't check theirr writings fsand itlooks like an unorganized,mess?" Natsu says"Yeah, I nhgsd agree with Salamanderrs =, that's justrs annoynosg"Agrreed"

"Or how about when Lucy get's trained by a dragon, or ghosts, or Santy Claus" Sting added

"Or heck, what about when they purposely make characters OOC?" Natsu said

"I don't get what you mean Salamander, can you please pass me the ketchup, man I'm famished, I might go read a book with Levy!" Gajeel sang

"I don't want to fight people anymore, Gray, do you want to make up and be chums pal? Lucy, I swear I won't break into your house anymore!" Natsu skipped

Meanwhile in the guild hall

"I swear to Mavis I will beat the living hell out of all of you" Wendy said with a dark aura surrounding her

"What's wrong with her?" Gray asked

"Oh, the author decided to make her OOC." Lucy answered

"Pebble, I won't trip over you anymore, you'll trip over me, you got it?" the pebble nodded for its life

"Here Lucy, want some cake?" Erza asked as she handed her a plate

"Thank's Erza, but are you going to have some?" Lucy questioned

"Please, you know I don't like cake" Erza said with a smile

"This is getting scary!" Lucy said cowering behind the bar with Mira

"I will kill everyone in this building in 5 seconds, run you cowards, RUN!" Wendy laughed with volcano's erupting behind her

"You know, I have too many books, think I'll burn some tonight!" Levy sang as she left the building

"SOMEONE END THIS NIGHTMARE!" Lucy screamed

"You know what, I don't like Natsu-nii or Wendy-chan!" Romeo said as he left the building. Wendy fell to the floor crying.

"Wait a second, to beat the OOC, you have to make their true character return!" Lucy yelled as she forced Levy to read a book, Romeo to repeat himself, and she forced an entire strawberry cake down Erza's throat. Before she knew it, the guild was back to normal.

"I'm going on a job!" Nab yelled as he left the building.

"He finally broke up with the mission board. She must be feeling sad." Lucy went to comfort the crying board in its hour of need, after being dumped by it's boyfriend.

**OK, I have 1 more of these lined up, it'll probably come out tomorrow, but I need ideas. Whether it's something cliche, shipping, or just a weird little detail. Also, from now on, I will be doing an Author's question of the day, so ask me questions in your Review's. Thanks for Reading**

**What is your favorite anime?**

**Damn myself for asking that question. I'm going to give a quick top 5**

**5\. Blue Exorcist/Irregular Magic Highschool **

**I found both to be a fun ride that was full of laughs, and were very entertaining. Both are 25 episodes longs, so it won't take half a year to catch up. As to why I don't write Fanfiction for either, I just wasn't hit with inspiration. Though their openings are astounding.**

**4\. Code Geass**

**This series is intense! Mechs filled with mind f***s at every turn, the reason I don't write it is because I can't write a mind f*** inside a mind f***. If you like stories where you're on the edge of your seat going "What's happening?!" then this is the series for you.**

**3\. SAO**

**This is the first anime I intentionally watched. I was up one night watching Naruto, I saw a commercial for it. About 3 years later, I remembered that commercial and looked it up. I feel in love with the series, and it was just great. While the second half drops off a bit, it's still entertaining and is a must see for most anime fans. If it wasn't for this anime, I might have never watched Fairy Tail, meaning I wouldn't be here writing this story. Also, if you want to see where my writing style took root, go see Bashabuttons A New Life story, you'll notice that my style is similar to his. Plus, the story is amazing.**

**2\. FMA**

**MY WORD, I LOVE THIS SERIES TO DEATH! I watched the first series, and I was like, meh that was ok. Brotherhood. OH MY WORD, YES, THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST ANIME OF ALL TIME! This series is perfect, but that's the problem, you can't write that which is perfect, and it's also the reason its number 2. I'll explain in number 1.**

**1... What do you think?**

**You know, I haven't mentioned Fairy Tail yet on this list, and we're at number 1... wonder what it could be? In all seriousness, I started watching this series on July 4th 2014. Originally, it was going to be filler for SAO 2. However, as I watched more, I looked forward to watching Fairy Tail instead of SAO2. At Episode 150, I had already determined it was my 2nd favorite anime, below FMA. However, I got into the fandom, and instantly it jumped to number 1. The problem with FMA is that it's perfect. Fairy Tail is still young, and has shipping galore, and great fanfictions. You can't write FMA fanfictions that are equal to it, because the story finished so perfectly. I don't want to attempt it, because I know I can't compare. I'll just fall a bit ****_short. Fairy Tail_**** has lovable characters, amazing fights, and humorous moments, but then again, this is a Fairy Tail fanfic, so you already knew that. Also, I sorta watched all 193 episodes in about 2 weeksish so... NO LIFE! :). **

**Thanks for reading and see you next time. Make sure you give your honest opinions of the new Author Question Corner, and this fanfic.**


	4. OC's and why you don't mess with Authors

"Anyone ever notice how we never talk about original characters?" Natsu asked

"Yeah, like Hacim, he's in the guild, but doesn't have a guild mark. He said he works for Mira. By coincidence, I told him I like Levy, and now he won't leave the two of us alone when together"

"Yeah, plus he uses electric make magic, why that of all things?" Laxus asked

"Because I like electric darn it, and I like make magic, combine the two and boom" the author shouted from the heavens, freezing everyone except for Natsu, for some reason he couldn't

"Ok, but you ripped off Tyson from Pokemon with the design" Natsu yelled back

"Natsu, do you want me to write Laxus repeating Innocent Infatuation, I'm sure the readers would hate it"

"No, I hate that ship!" Natsu screamed

"And I just wrote you saying that because I hate the ship too"

"Then why did you read it?"

"Because fanfiction and Rowen is minimal on this site" the author retorted back

"Then why not finish working on Skyfire then if you want Rowen so badly" Natsu asked with a huff

"Because…..touche" the author retreated to the heavens, unfreezing the world around him in the process.

"That bastard" was all Natsu had left to say

"Yeah, OC's are the worst sometimes." Laxus pointed out as Hacim broke down the door.

"Lightning that flickers, like a star and purges all… that violate its realm! ASTRASPHERE!, Sacred sword agleam, barbarous and bathed in blue, cleaving right from wrong, Luxcalibuer!" The building was saved by the fact Laxus ate the lighting

"Now you're ripping off Azure Striker Gunvolt!" Natsu yelled to the sky

"Your point? No one knows what that game is!" The author returned, freezing everyone except Natsu and Hacim.

"Well, I do because I just brought it up!" Natsu yelled back

"Natsu, do you want me to write you out of Fairy Tail?" the author smirked

"Yeah, sorry, but that ain't happening pal" Natsu said, returning with his trademark grin

"Why not!" The author asked

"One word, NALU!" Natsu cackled

"DAMN YOU SCIENCE!" The author said returning to the sky

"Where was I, oh yeah!" Hacim said kicking Laxus, knocking him out in the process. He then flew into the sky and reversed time. Except for poor poor Natsu.

"Your god moding your character!" he yelled towards the sky

"Natsu, what are you doing?" asked Lucy. Natsu looked down and realized he was wearing his open vest. He turned around to see Lucy showing off her pink guild mark.

"GRAMP!" Natsu said running at the speed of light towards his office.

"Gramps, you've got to help me, I've been sent back in time!" Natsu yelled

"Hah, very funny runt!" He said pushing Natsu out of his office

"Wait….I know what Lumene Histore is!" Natsu said pushing against his hand

Makarov immediately brought his hand back to normal size. "What…..what did you say?"

"I said I know what Lumene Histore is! If you don't believe me, Romeo will walk into your office here any second saying he's worried about his father." On que the 4 year old walked and did just that.

"Master, my dad is missing at Mount Hokobae, I'm really worried" Romeo said with tears in his eyes

"Don't worry Romeo, I'll go save him!" Natsu said patting the kid's head. Romeo then left the office

"Wha…..how….." Natsu then whispered into Makarov's ear "Lumene Histore is Mavis Verbillions body"

"It's Vermillion!" Makarov shouted

"My point is proven good sir!" Natsu cheered

"How did you end up back here?" Natsu paled

"Crappy Fanfiction writers, one day we become popular, heck, we rival some of the big leagues, like Naruto" Makarov laughed

"That'll be the day!"

"Fine, Erza's going to walk into the guild a couple days from now, we'll end up at the Guild Master's meeting, FYI, don't let him play the flute" Natsu said embarking for Mount Hakobae

1 week later

"Would you like to hear a song?" Kageyama asked

"….Natsu you son of a" Makarov stated

Later, after Natsu soloed Lullaby with no problems

"Natsu, tell me, were you ever made S Class?" Makarov asked pinching the bridge of his nose

"Nope, sadly not, but I could easily beat Laxus right now" Laxus broke down the door at that comment

"You wanna go runt?" Laxus asked in a cocky voice

"Sure, let's take it outside, rather not get your blood all over the nice beautiful guild hall"

The two departed outside

"You ready for death?" Laxus asked

"I think the better question is if you are" Natsu smirked "_This'll be easy" _Laxus thought

"Lightning Barrage!" Laxus shouted as 50 ball's of electricity hit Natsu. A large explosion erupted, as Laxus and the Thunder God Tribe smirked. "That'll teach you weakling"

As the dust settled, Natsu was still standing, he had not even a scratch on him. The entire guild gasped, others passed out, and a lot of them gulped. Only Happy had bet on Natsu, that was a lot of fish.

"Lightning Barrage" He repeated, and again, and again, and again

"What's wrong Laxus, something the matter?" Natsu laughed

"Lightning Dragon Roar!" Laxus shouted

"Lightning Flame Dragon Mode" Natsu yelled as he ate the roar

"Laxus, please stop throwing pebbles at me, wouldn't want Wendy to trip over them a season from now" Natsu cackled

"I don't get it!" Laxus panted

"Well allow me to explain" Natsu practically teleported right infront of Laxus and punched him in the gut, knocking him out

"You don't betray Fairy Tail, I know what you've heard, and we aren't weak. Don't use the Thunder Palace. Have a nice day" Natsu said walking away towards the sea

"Natsu, where are you going?" Erza asked, obviously surprised

"You and I are going to go visit Jellal, ok?" Natsu said as Happy flew him towards the Tower of the Heavens'

"My plans are almost finished!" Jellal laughed

Natsu broke through the wall

"Hi Jellal buddy, you don't know me, but trust me when I say I know you" Natsu said as he wrapped Jellal around with his scarf, which promptly turned black.

"Where…where am I?" Jellal looked around

"Erza, he was possessed by Zeref, take him back to Fairy Tail" he said as he jumped off the tower, Happy catching him moments later

"To Cait Shelter!"

Natsu dropped into the middle of the guild village…. Wow that's odd. He then casually walked in to the guildmaster's tent

"I have a job for Wendy, can you have her cleanse this scarf?" He also added "I know your guy's secret, send her alone for the Orecian Seis mission, you'll see in a month here" The master's jaw dropped as he took the scarf from pink haired mage.

Natsu looked to the sky to see it was dark out.

"If I've done my count right" Happy took off again for Magnolia

"Salamander should be here in 3, 2" Natsu landed on the building next to Gajeel

"Yo Salamander, any idea how we got sent back in time?" Natsu's jaw dropped

"You also got sent back?" Natsu asked

"Yup, I just left Phantom Lord after wooping them a new one" Gajeel said

"Well, I've just prevented the Galuna Island, the Phantom Lord, the Tower of Heaven and the Fighting Festival arcs in less than a day" Gajeel laughed

"Looks like we're finally getting that vacation we wanted"

"Oh, and by the way, we can't prevent the Tenrou arc, it's necessary for the time line" Natsu said with a sad huff

"What if we left them money, so they could be better off?" Gajeel asked

"You know, we have another 4 months til the next arc, let's take a few S Class missions, I'm sure master would allow it, besides, the author returned us here for a reason…..probably" Natsu said as he rushed to Fairy Tail

"You know Natsu, I think I'll return you to the future after I have my fun with this" the author said in the sky, writing this very sentence.

**Wow, how many times will I update today? I dont know, I dont want this fanfiction to last too long, maybe I'll do an annual week of this every month.I'm just enjoying myself currently. Why did I send Natsu back in time? I wanted to write some badass moments where we beats the living crap out of the older characters. I'm having fun with it, this'll probably be a two chapter thing before returning back to the usual format of, something is wrong in the fan base, please fix Hiro Mashima Senpai.**

**So question of the day comes from Yamiyugi:**

**What highschool did you go to?**

**What highschool do I go to***

**I am currently enrolled in PACYBER. It is a cyber school located in PA. They give you a computer for free, and you attend class on that. It is currently what I use to update my stories, and I love having it. 3 hours of school a day, hour and a half of homework, done for the day.**


	5. Author's Feelings and Cutting Cornors

"Is it time for the next arc yet?"

"Nope"

"Is it time for the next arc yet?"

"Nope"

"Is it time for the next.." Gajeel was interrupted

"Mira's putting up the list of dark guilds! It's time for the Oracion Seis arc!" Natsu cheered

"Yo Mira, I bet you 10000 gems Gramps is going to walk through the door at 8:37 saying we have to fight a dark guild!" Natsu yelled towards the barmaid

"Deal, free money for the match maker!"

37 minutes and 10000 gems later.

"Gramps, I'm taking Gajeel with me" Natsu yelled pulling Gajeel out the door with him

"But I was going to…" Makarov was stopped by his runts

"Send me to do recon about fake info given to us." The two walked out the door

At the Pegasus Manor

"Jura, excuse me for a second" Natsu walked up towards one of Blue Pegasus's representatives

"Gemeni, do me a solid, go the hell back to the celestial world" he said as he punched Ichiya into next year

"Oooh" Ichiya said as he transformed in Gemeni before returning to the celestial world

"Hibiki, go free your 'sensei' in the bathroom" Natsu said as he walked out the door

"Anyone notice that Cait Shelter's representative hasn't shown yet?" Gray said

"Representative, as in one person, just how strong is this person?" Lucy asked imagining a fierce warrior.

Natsu merely chuckled as he walked into someone

Outside

"Wendy, you sent back in time too, or you original canon like Laxus" Natsu asked

"Sent back in time, but Carla isn't so… 3, 2" said cat jumped out of a bush

"WENDY, IT'S DANGEROUS TO BE AROUND STRANGERS!" she shouted as she pushed Wendy behind her.

"Carla he's harmless…" Wendy told her

"NO, HE ISN'T, HE PART OF A DARK GUILD! SEE THE LOGO ON HIS SHOULDER!" pointing towards the logo on his shoulder

"Carla, you aren't of this world are you? You were born to kill us dragonslayers, and that's why you're gonna be irked with Happy, because he doesn't remember." The cat's jaw dropped

"You're insane" she shouted as she took Wendy in the air.

"Carla, I'm not your foe!" Natsu yelled at her

"Wendy, what have I told you about strangers! That man could've done something.."

"Sorry Carla" Wendy said as she slipped out of her grasp.

Her brother caught her as the two ran, a fuming cat behind them

"So why didn't you come to the guild right away?" Natsu asked running

"Because…..my canon…..self….. was in charge til now"

"GET BACK HERE!" Carla yelled

"Nice to know, anyways, they should be right up ahead here, be prepared to fight"

As they exited the brush, Natsu kicked Cobra in the face.

"Yo, what the heck bro?" Cobra asked

"You aren't your canon self either" Natsu asked

"Nope, wanna help destroy my old guild?" he asked the two

"….I love my job sometimes" Natsu cheered

As they calmly walked down the path towards the intended ambush, Natsu remembered

"Crap, Carla's still hunting for us"

"She'll cool down after we pummel Cobra-nii's old guild" the bluenette answered

"Ok, I'll take Brain or Zero, whatever you prefer. Wendy, you get Angel and Racer. Cobra, you get to fight Midnight and Hoteye. Let's do this."

In under 3 minutes, the dark guild was down for the count

"Didn't even need dragon force" all three said at the same time

"Natsu, you kidnapped a little girl!" Lucy yelled running towards the trio

"Huh… oh yeah, they don't understand the problem" Natsu said to the sky

"Hey author, can you not write Carla scolding either of us?" Natsu asked

"Nope, sorry pal, you're on your own for this one"

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? YOU COULD'VE BEEN HURT! OR WORSE! I'M TEMPTED TO REPORT YOU TO THE AUTHORITIES.."

"Wendy, may I?" Natsu asked with his fist on fire

"Be my guest" and with that, the cat was knocked out

"Man, I'm starting to border anti-hero"

2 hours later, Natsu was explaining the current situation to his team

"So in short, me, Gajeel, Wendy, and Cobra are all from the future" Natsu said with a smile

"….What mental ward should we send him to?" Lucy asked her teammates

"Lucy, as much as it hurts me to say it, he knows things about me I haven't told another soul. He has to be telling the truth" Grey sighed

"Lucy, he right, he knew about Jellal. That is something so secretive, not even the council knows about it" Erza added

"You know, Lucy, you might wanna confront Jude soon" and with that, Lucy was a believer.

Carla finally woke up

"YOU MONSTER, COME ON WENDY WE'RE LEAVIN…"

"Edolas aye? Oh and Lucy, here's some keys" he said tossing Aries, Scorpio, and Gemeni's keys

"Carla, you're overreac…" once again her cat interrupted her

"NO, I'M DONE WITH THIS FREAK SHOW" Carla started dragging Wendy out the door.

"Where are we going?" Wendy asked

"Back to the guild hall so I can file a restraining order" Natsu immediately got up

"Uhm, Carla, there isn't a guild to go back to; I already talked to your master about this. Once you guys left, he finally passed on to the afterlife"

"…What?" was all she could utter

"Wendy, I'm going to leave you to take the reins, you know where Fairy Tail is at. I personally have to go and beat the shit out of Daphne. I love my job" Natsu shouted as he left the manor

"Happy, can you take me to east desert? There's a lady I have to visit, and it's going to be great" he chuckled

27 minutes later

"YOU BITCH, NO ONE LIKES THIS ARC."

"DRAGON SLAYER SECRET ART: BRILLIANT FLAME!" Natsu shouted as he destroyed Daphne's house

"It's done….. It's finally over. She's gone. We won't have to deal with this nightmarish arc ever again" Natsu panted

"I think… I think I'm gonna cry" Natsu started balling

3 days later

"Crap…. How many more day's til the Edolas arc?" Natsu pounded his head against the bar

"Salamander, quit it man. We have to wait another 6 months." Natsu promptly knocked himself out.

"Well, might as well start preparing." Gajeel got up walking towards the master.

"Yo Gramps, can you tell Mystogon not to knock me, squirt and Natsu out anymore. We already know his secret" Makarov sighed as he passed them pills that would make them immune to such magic.

1 month later

"and so, Natsu lef…" Lucy and the rest of the guild went unconscious, as a masked man entered the guild

"Yo, Mystogon. What up broski?" Natsu asked walking up to him. Mystogon tried using his magic again. Natsu was still smiling

"It's not going to work." Mystogon gasped as the other dragon slayers came up to him

"Ok, so I want to make this quick, the Anima is going to suck up Magnolia is a couple months here. Can you help us use magic in Edolas?" Natsu caught a jar aimed for his head

"Thanks man" and before he knew it, everything was back to normal

4 months later

"Is it just me or is the author running out of steam for this chapter?" Gajeel asked

"Nah, I can tell too, he's starting to cut corners" Natsu smirked

"Yeah, he just jumped 4 months with only 5 sentences connecting them. He's definitely being lazy" Wendy said

"DARN YOU WENDY, WHY DID I MAKE ROWEN MY OTP?! WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED A SHIPPER!" the author shouted from the sky

"Yeah, Rowen is never going to happen bud" Gajeel said towards him'

"Shut up…" The author said crying

"No I mean really, there's no way it's ever going to…"

"Hacim, do me a favor and beat the SHIT out of Gajeel" Hacim dropped out of the sky before disappearing and then using a Kamehamaha

"GOD MODDING AT IT'S FINEST!" Natsu yelled

"Will you quit it? My character isn't op what so ever!" he retorted

"He can reverse time, fly, turn invisible, use attacks that aren't even part of this series, and can knock Laxus out in one hit. Definitely god modding right there" Natsu huffed

"Who made you mister Cinema Sins?"

"You did mister crappy fanfiction writer who padding the shit out of this chapter!"

"….Touche" he disappeared while returning Hacim to the sky

"Where was I, oh yeah, Rowen is so going to be canon" Gajeel said in a happy tone

"DAMN THIS AUTHOR!" Natsu yelled towards the sky

"Fine… you deserve a present, here's Pantherlily" he dropped said cat from the sky

"So you just gave us Lily so we don't have to go to Edolas? But then why bother with the Mystogan Section?" Natsu asked

"You know, there are better fanfictions to look at for plot holes and annoying nitpicks than this one. Besides, this series is meant to nitpick the hell out of itself and other fanfictions." The author shouted back

"You're just being a lazy douche bag!" Natsu retorted

"and your point? I know I am genius, don't need you telling me that"

"Wow, you really don't care what other people think?" Natsu said with awe

"This is fanfiction damn it, people troll the living shit out of you every other day, it's hard to take people seriously at times, so I really don't care what other people say. People who review and say this is good, ok I'm happy with that. People who say it's bad, this is a hobby people, I don't give a shit if you're just going to say "This story is stupid, it's horrible, I hope your house get run over by a tank or something""

"Well, good on you!" Lucy shouted back to a fellow author

"….when did I unfreeze her, you know what, this is getting out of hand" The author said returning to the heavens

**Ok this chapter is supposed to show how author's really feel about people on fanfiction. If you aren't going to be nice, don't bother at all. This is a hobby for us, so don't sit there and go "This is just bad" or something of that kind. It's also supposed to show how half developed stories can be. Sorta two sides of the same coin. If you criticize people for writing something awful like, Natsu is actually Grey's father, or some sort of shit like that and it doesn't give a good explanation for that, thats fair, because the author was obligated to explain that.**

** I think this chapter tackled both of those nicely, as it showed something like that in effect. I purposely wrote the Mystogan section shortly and then had made it null and void with Lily. Because they could skip the Edolas arc now, they will, but why bother in an author's perspective to do that? It's pointless, and poor planning. Plus 5 sentences for that? That should've been way more if it was actually going to have an effect. If you are going to write a fanfiction, either A, plan it out, or B, if you're winging it, make sure the pieces fall into place. Anyways, I didn't get another question yet, so I'll be asking myself one.**

**What is your favorite part about writing Fanfiction?**

**Quite hypocritically to what I said above, it's actually to see people react to my work. Flames are actually nice at times. Don't take them to heart personally, but they always bring me back down with a level head. Hey I'm not the best author ever, but I'm surely not the worst. This entire series right here is to point out satire in our community we don't notice or ignore at times. OC's are op cliché, Shipping is out of hand, Plot holes and author's feelings. All these things I like to point out from the characters view, because that makes it humorous as all hell. And your reactions to it keep me writing it. If you've ever wondered why I miss the dates on my update plan, it's because when people don't review, I get a little discouraged. Thanks to all who have reviewed so far, and I hoped you like what's here and what's to come. **


	6. Lemons, why?

**THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO DISTURB OR OFFEND ANYONE, PLEASE BE CAREFUL ABOUT THIS CHAPTER**

"You guys, I think we can skip the Edolas Arc" Natsu said gulping fire

"Yeah, I mean we got Lily, that's about all the arc is good for" Gajeel added

"Anyone seen Mira-san today?" Wendy asked

"Yeah, today she and Elfman go to the cathedral to visit Lissana's….. we forgot about her didn't we?" Natsu said getting up

"Fuck, we have to go through this again" Gajeel groaned

"Chin up, at least you get to do something cool this season, or any season for that matter, the Neo Orecion Seis arc is bullshit" Cobra added

"Nope, not writing this arc, screw you guys, here's Lissana" The author said dropping her from the sky

"Cutting corners again aren't you?" Natsu added

"Cutting Corners? Please, I dislike Edolas, the only reason I like it is because of that awesome as hell fight against Dorma Amin" the author said as he retreated to the sky

"Yeah, Edolas was pretty bull shit if you ask me" Gajeel said as he went over to Levy. The two had become best friends over the last couple months much to Jet and Droy's distaste.

"Well, at least the Exceed's are becoming canon, speaking of which, Wendy any results with Carla yet?" Natsu turned to the youngest dragon slayer

"She became canon just a few days ago, she doesn't want anyone to see or talk about her for a while though" Wendy said

"and that's why you're a dragon slayer, we don't keep promises to anyone!" Cobra added

"Maybe for you Cobra, but the rest of us tend to actually do so." Natsu tisked

"So yeah, what's everyone going to do today? I mean we have the next month or so off til Tenrou" Natsu asked

"I think I'm going to try and negotiate with the pebble, maybe we can find middle ground" Wendy replied

"_The pebble is heartless, good luck with that" _Natsu thought

"_That thing's more evil then I am, and that's saying something" _Cobra said in his mind dryly

"Good luck with that, I'm sure you can sis"

"Yeah squirt, good luck" Wendy skipped away to find her mortal enemy

"….We were both just thinking the same thing weren't we?" Natsu turned to the Poison dragon slayer

"Well, unlike you, I wasn't thinking about monkey's taking over the world" Natsu heyed before Cobra added "I can hear your thoughts remember? That pebble is a cruel son of a bitch"

"Agreed" Natsu said sitting down with a huff

"So what are you going to do today?" Cobra asked

"I was going to force myself to watch those fanfictions I've piled up. Time to binge watch." Natsu ran to the club house which they had built in this time period

"Think I'll join Natsu" Lucy said walking towards the building.

Before he knew it, Natsu was sitting beside Lucy, with Gray, Erza, Happy, Wendy, Gajeel, Pantherlily, Levy, Jet, Droy, and Mira who stated "My ships are more important than my family" as she walked away from Lissana.

"Dragon's Key to Heat" Natsu paled as he remembered what this was about.

"WHO PUT THIS IS THE MOVIE PLAYER!?" he yelled as he went up to stop the movie. The button was gone.

"Iron Fist of the Fire Dragon" he shouted as he tried to destroy it. It had been protected by magic barriers. Natsu gasped as he attempted to attack the player again. It wouldn't even budged. An idea hit Natsu, that idea was called Gray's foot, but he also figured out their next move.

"Everyone, leave the building at once!" Natsu yelled as he pushed at the door. It wouldn't budge. Natsu dejectedly sat back down, tears almost flooding his eyes.

"Guys, we're stuck with this til it's done, someone cover Wendy's eyes, and rest of you, cover your ears and close your eyes, this is going to be nightmarish"

The narrator began by describing what Lucy was feeling, and what was on her lower thighs…. **Just read the opening paragraph, past that, DON'T READ ON.**

They had finally made it to the bathroom scene before everyone start puking.

"Fuck my life!" Natsu shouted as he let his stomach go.

"I would never in any right mind agree to….. urg" Lucy puked

"What the, who the fuck put this in the …. RAH" Gray emptied his stomach into the trash can

"This is horrible, whoever did this must be the next season's antagonist" Erza moaned as her face went green

"This sounds weird, what is it about, I can hear it still." Wendy tried to peek through Cobra's hand, but to no avail.

"Wait a second….. we're missing one big chunk of the main cast….. LAXUS!" Gajeel yelled as he figured out the puzzle of who put the movie in.

After the nightmarish fanfiction finished its run, the door was still locked.

"Someone locked us in a room with porno's…. fuck my life"

"Nalu Fanfic Lemon Rated MA"

"My OTP!" Mira swooned

"Uhm, Lucy, you should probably stop looking now!" Natsu said as he covered his eyes

"What…. What….. WHAT DA FUQ!?" Lucy yelled as she closed her eyes. It was too late however; she had seen all she had needed, or maybe she had seen it a long time ago.

"Don't Call Her JuviaChan"

"Possesed Natsu Seperated Story"

"A Vampire Story Fairy Tail"

"Meh, still a better love story then Twilight" Gajeel casually added, chewing on popcorn

"How aren't you puking?" Natsu asked between doing spit takes with his stomach

"You know the term iron belly? Yeah, that's literal with me. Only thing to worry about are those damn trains!" Gajeel looked around for the ever looming foe

2 hours later, after untold amounts of Lemons

"We….. We're finally done" Natsu said crawling out of the theater area of the hang out

"That was horrid….." Gray added as he left

"Why do so many people write lemons? First thing I think of when I watch an anime "Man, a sex scene would be nice within the next 2 episodes here" What pervs" Gajeel sarcastically said leaving

"Tell me about it! In real life, I'm extremely respectful to the ladies. I don't stare at them with lustful gazes treating them like a piece of meat. Sadly, my friends love calling me gay because I just don't pay attention to the ladies for their bodies. Sorry for having self-restraint" The author shook his head descending from the heavens.

"Yeah, it's semi-creepy, and it's rude as all hell. But I guess if you don't, you're giving people a way to mock you." Mira added

"I'm a teenage guy who doesn't stare at girls and society disowns me for it. Tsk" the author said

"Well, at least you don't write lemons" Natsu added

"I don't get the point of them either. Do people get off from that shit or something? Because if so, that's disgusting" the author asked

"Yeah, I mean really, recording mine and Natsu's sex life like that…. Woops" Lucy said, and like that, the author was hounding for questions of when Nalu became canon

**I had fun writing this, sadly my stomach didn't as I had to force myself through multiple lemons. I don't understand the reasoning for people writing them. This is definitely me when watching anime ****_(SARCASM AHOY: CRUDE LANGUAGE IS SARCASTIC AND NOT MEANT TO OFFEND, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)_**

**"So when is he going to fuck her hard exactly?" while watching SAO episode 1 (hint, the guy and girl talking to one another are both guys, if you've watched the show, you'd understand my dark humor)**

**So in all seriousness, why do people write lemons, why do people expect lemons, and why bother at all with them? Yeah, the first thing I think of when it comes to Rowen is a lemon :/**

**Also, if this offended anyone, I'm sorry, if you want me to change anything is this chapter, I will.**

**Anyways, to my personal life, I'm actually not a perv like my friends. Sitting in a mall with my buds and their like, Check out dat ass. Me? I usually respond with the same thing every time: If you're dating a female purely for their body, you don't deserve them. At the age of 15, I've come to realize that if someones soul is beautiful, that's all that matter. If they look great on the outside, that's a plus. I'm respectful when it comes to the ladies and every single one of them should be treated like a princess. Well, except for the one whom I possibly will marry, that one deserves to be treated as a queen.**

**To answer a question from Paladude, What is my favorite anime besides Fairy Tail, I answered that a chapter or two ago in a list.**

**Author's Corner**

**Yami-yugi:Do you like what Fairy Tail is doing in its current arc?**

**Anime-wise, not sure yet, I watch it on hulu, so I'm not sure what the next one is about, the KemoKamo arc or whatever it's called, can we please just get to Sun Village?**

**Manga-wise, oh heck yes, this is definitely a nice arc in my opinion, because it isn't about fighting, it's instead focused on rekindling bonds between the members of the guild**

**Cya all next time, and remember, I will never, EVER, write a lemon unless I'm being held at gunpoint to do so.**


	7. Headcanons

Natsu sat there quietly….. waiting for you to gasp at such a preposterous idea. He looked to the sky.

"Why didn't you update yesterday? I've been sitting like that for 3 days now! You told yourself you'd update every week day!" He yelled, the guild could've cared less, they were used to it by now.

"Sorry, yesterday I had off from school. I still have to wait for Spring Break, only another week or two now. Anyways, I have a big announcement to make at the end of this chapter, but now, back to Natsu's interpretation of Star Wars" the author said returning to the sky

"Pew pew, slash slash. Cheesy one liner. Pew pew" he imitated

"What are you doing pinky?" Cobra asked

"Same thing we every night Brain, try to take over the world" Natsu joked

"It's the other way around" Laxus said, taking a seat at the table. He had changed back to his normal brother self

"I know, I couldn't help myself from a good 90's joke." Natsu said with a laugh

"Yeah, Pinky and the Brain is old, but I didn't come over to this table for a good joke. I just realized something, so I thought I'd come over and talk to you guys about it." Laxus explained

"Yeah, I know, I'm stronger then you. I'm just surprised it took that long" Natsu said, sounding dramatic

"Not that you douchebag, besides, I could destroy you now, so don't even….." Laxus was interrupted

"Before we have the old fashion cliché of "I came to talk to you about something but now I forget because of things around me" tell us what you realized" Cobra said, leaning back with his eyes closed

"Fine" Laxus crossed his arms "This is just a head canon" Cobra brought his legs back and leaned forward, surprised. Other "HUH!"s were heard throughout the building.

"What do you mean!?" Natsu asked, now standing on the table

"Us, the dragonslayer bonds thing. It's just a head canon." All the dragonslayers came to the table

"What do you mean? What's a head canon Laxus-nii?" Wendy asked

"Oh yeah, not everyone watches anime here, forgot about that. In short, it means something you believe is true in an anime, like Asuka's middle name being Erza, or Natsu always sleeping in Blondeys bed when he breaks in, or that dragon slayers acting like family" he explained

"But does that mean this entire story is just a head canon!?" Natsu screamed

"Well I mean, almost all of us have been OOC the entire time, so I don't see why not. Besides, headcanons are stupid"

"Yeah, headcanons are sometimes nice though. Like me sleeping in Lucy's bed. Not that much sleeping goes on though" Natsu said with a smirk as all the other dragonslayer's faces filled with horror

"NATSU!" Lucy said with a face of Erza's hair

"What? The other dragonslayer's can hear it from a mile away. It's not like it's a secret" Natsu laughed

"Salamander. Do me and everyone else here a big fat favor. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Gajeel screamed into his face

"How about you make Levy shut up! I can hear here from where Sabertooth is going to be" Natsu yelled back

"Wow, guys, I already covered shipping and lemons a couple of chapters ago. I'm not doing this again" the author tried to break up the fight

"SHUT UP!" all of them yelled

"Shipping is half the reason people keep reading and or watching Fairy Tail. The other is the badass as hell fights!" Natsu screamed

"…..guilty as charged, you have fun arguing" and with that he was gone

"You know, where do you think he goes when he is done talking to us?" Natsu sat down with a huff

"Probably to write other stories" Gajeel said. A laugh filled the room as the author came back

"You're joking right?" he laughed again "I tried writing a Super Smash Bros story, got about 25 views over 4 months with 2 chapters. I wrote a Yu-gi-oh fanfiction. Every single review was some douchebag complaining that the cards I had created were too OP, or after dialogue my sentences didn't end with a punctuation." The author caught his breath before continuing "I made a X-Keepers fanfiction and it got about 350 views in 2 days. For my standards that's pretty good. If a story gets 50 views by the second chapter, I normally greenlight it for more. But every market I tried was horrid. Fairy Tail's fan aren't assholes complaining about every single minute detail they can find."

"That sounds horrible!" Lucy said from experience in the author world

"Don't get me started on a Naruto fanfiction I wrote once. 20 views, 8 chapters, and 5 reviews throwing a hissy fit saying "Naruto would never do that, as evidenced by chapter 645 and 093 and blah blah" I swear people on fanfiction are douche bags. Word of advice to other authors reading this fanfiction, don't try and leave the Fairy Tail market, this is probably the nicest one I've seen on fanfiction."

"Well, Naruto fans are assholes who don't posses souls and think that Naruto is godlike, anything that is deemed lower than their impossible standards deserves to be destroyed by the fires of hell itself"

"Well, I'm going to leave now, and Natsu" said dragonslayer turned to him "here's a gift from the second season of this fanfiction" the author threw him a belt with a deck of Yu-gi-oh cards in it.

"…thanks" Natsu said blandly, obviously not thankful for the gift

"Well, this is me making my last appearance for the rest of this. Cya" The master walked out of his office.

"Listen up runts, we are holding the S-Class Trials" Master then pulled out the list

"Now let's go through Tenrou!" Natsu shouted as master announced the candidates for S-Class.

Natsu Dragneel

Gray Fullbuster

Juvia Lockser

Elfman Stratuss

Cana Alberona

Freed Justine

Levy McGraden

Gajeel Redfox….. huh?

**Confused? Where's Mest? Yup, there we go those were the last themes I'm going to be covering. Headcanons and Why I only write Fairy Tail Fanfictions with quick shipping moment for you Nalu and Gale fans. **

**Also, announcement time. After Tenrou, I am ending "Season 1" of Dragons are Crazy. I will take a week or two break from this, update AoA and finish Natsu vs Charizard, before coming back with new themes for chapters. Season 2 has an allstar line up. If you can start recommending things for Season 3, I'd appreciate it. Here's season 2:**

**AU**

**Abridgement**

**Fanart **

**Author Delays**

**AMV's**

**MAD's**

**the DUB**

**Yu-gi-oh!**

**Crossovers**

**I actually thought all these up last night. Lol, anyways thanks you all for reading, and next time, we shall finish Season 1.**

**Author Corner:**

**What was your favorite arc and why?**

**Isn't that 2 questions?**

**Probably Oracion Seis. Memorable characters introduced, interesting villains, amazing openings, and Natsu vs Zero is probably one of my favorite fights in the series.**


	8. Rapping and Grimore Heart Rekt

The waves crashed against the boat as the gang made their way to Tenrou, however Natsu wouldn't let Freed go to the bathroom.

"Natsu, I need to go" he yelled at the dragonslayer

"No, you're just going to set up runes" Natsu insisted

"While I like the idea, I need to go number 3" Freed said

"Number 3, what is tha… never mind, I don't want to know" Natsu slumped over the rails

"Ok runts, the S-Class trial will begin now. I informed you earlier what to do, so here we go! Start!" Natsu took off with Happy. Gajeel and Wendy weren't too far behind thanks to her dragonforce allowing her to run on water. Freed and Bixlow were nibbling at their feet with Juvia and Lissana on their tails. Gray froze a path as he and Loke ran to the island. Levy sighed as she sat there, paired with Lucy due to the fact Cana withdrew. Natsu told her to confront her daddy issue, and the scene was touching. Plus, Lucy had turned to her future self, which meant Aquarius's key was gone. Elfman and Evergreen took off after realizing that they had argued through the entire announcement.

"Ok, time to see if I compare with Pre Tartarus Gildarts" Natsu said running into the cave

Meanwhile, Gajeel and Wendy were fighting Gray and Loke. The latter two were severely injured, but they had managed to take down Gajeel or rather, Gajeel had said in his own words "Squirt wants to see if she can hold a candle compared to them. Who am I to deny? I wasn't even supposed to be here anyways". They turned to Wendy, whom they assumed would be harmless as a butterfly. Canon Wendy, yes. This one, HECK NO.

"I'm not going to hold back." Gray said pulling out a jar

"Well, funny thing is" Wendy kicked the jar in "you'll have to eat them off the ground, which you'll be in a couple seconds" she went dragonforce and kicked Loke's face to which he said "It's ruined! My money maker is ruined!" he said crying as he returned to the spirit world.

"Sky Dragon Slayer Gryphon Blade!" she shouted at a wind blade appeared, knocking Grey out.

"Well, he didn't know Devil Slaying, so I guess I got off easy" she muttered as she healed Gajeel

Meanwhile, in cave C.

"I deserve the title of Titania!" Ever shouted in her face

"I don't want it, it was given to me. Do you think I can just give you a certificate that transfers the title to you?" Erza yelled back

"This isn't very manly" Elfman said, deciding to just kick back as the two argued. He knew better by now not to bother.

During that time, Freed and Bixlow had encountered Juvia and Lissana.

"This is it. Me and you, the battle everyone has been waiting for. I'm not going to hold back" Freed said to them

"You bet Freed. This is going to be super special awesome. Juvia can't wait to see your strength" Juvia replied

"Alright then, Juvia, it's time to spit some rhymes" Freed commanded as he turned his baseball cap around

"Bring it on Fre… wait what? Oh you have got to be fucking with Juvia" Juvia cursed

Ok Juvia check it out, Freed from GX

Sad to say dawg, you're my new test subject

So listen up, here it is, the awesome challenge I suggest,

Whoever spits the best rap outta you and me will be the best

Duelist in the world and the S Class Wizard

Leaving that rap behind us, we return to Natsu vs Gildarts, or rather, Annihilation vs Gildarts. He wasn't expecting this challenge at all. But then again, Natsu had concealed his power to seem like his normal self.

"You know old man, I have learned the lesson you intended for me to learn. To have the courage to be afraid" Natsu said shocking the him

"Well, I never thought you would learn such a thought provoking lesson by yourself. I'm surprised. You pass" Gildarts said opening the passage way behind him.

At the end, Natsu, Gajeel, Freed who had won the rap battle, Juvia had been run over by someone playing a card game on a motorcycle, and Levy had made it through the safe route made it to the next round.

"Ok, the next challenge…" Master stopped as Natsu started counting

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…" he continued

"What are you doing Natsu?" Master asked pinching his nose

"Grimore Heart is going to be here soon, so if you'll excuse me" Natsu ran towards where the ship should be docking.

"Find the fairies and clip their wings!" Hades shouted

"OR HOW ABOUT WE SOAR HIGH AND ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE!" Natsu said dropping from the sky

"This boy should be child's play" Hades said with a smirk as he returned inside the base

"Hi everyone, no point of going after Zeref, when you have END staring you down" Natsu smirked as he put his hand up to motion them towards him.

"You really think that we'd believe you're END? That would make you Tartuarus's guild master, and I doubt that a weakling like you could ever compar…" Ultear was stopped as she went unconscious, Natsu hadn't even moved.

"How did you….." Azuma was also stopped due to being unconscious

"I'll give you a choice, you can either join Jellal in Crime Sorciere or end up in prison." Natsu said as the other left the island on escape boats. Natsu chuckled as he walked into the air ship.

"Soon…..END, Acnologia" a man said as he walked on the water, leaving the island to its demise.

"So, you managed to defeat my runts?" Hades said as he sat on his chair, seeing Natsu in the hallway. Natsu walked past, shocking Hades.

"I'm not interested in you, I'm interested in Grimore's Heart" Natsu kicked a door in, which went right into the heart of the ship. Literally.

"You're finished" Natsu said as he left the ship, leaving Hades to die a peaceful death.

He ran to the grave of Mavis, just in time to get second place.

"Man, I defeated a dark guild, and I'm still in this. MAVIS!" Natsu shouted for the spirit to come out

"Mavis, I need you to cast Fairy Sphere quickly. 7 years ought to do it! We have a giant dragon of death coming in a couple minutes!" Mavis appeared

"What do you mean?" she asked one of her "decedents"

"We got a dragon coming, can you prepare Fairy Sphere?" he asked

"It will take a moment or two, but I can. Might I ask if the guild master is here?" Makarov stood up

"That would be me, and listen to the boy, he's from a messed up future"

"How awful? What happened?" Mavis gasped

"Author being a douchebag" Natsu replied bluntly. Just you wait Natsu, you'll see douchebag.

A couple minutes later, Mavis gave the ok. The dragon of nightmares showed up a couple minutes later, taking all of the Tenrou team 7 years into the future.

Fairy Tail didn't maintain its number 1 status, however, due to the efforts of the Dragonslayers, the guild could sustain for at least another 10 years. A future coming to rewrite the past. To change the future for the good of all.

Romeo eventually became an S-Class wizard at the age of 13, thanks to the tutelage of Natsu. While he hadn't taught the boy directly, the scrolls he left behind taught him fire dragonslayer magic, which he used to make the guild proud.

Azlack and Bisca got married and had Asuka only a year after the team disappeared. The girl was now 7, and was happily starting to learn Gun Requip magic, so that one day, she could help the guild like those before her.

Nab actually started to go on jobs, giving the guild one less thing to worry about.

Macao took reluctantly took the position of Guild Master, but swore it was only until the Tenrou group came back, which he knew would be 7 years from now, due to a note left by the group.

Cobra, who was left behind due to the fact he was supposed to age, worked with others in the guild to make them stronger. The guild had a steady income due to combined efforts. Kinnana and him also got married 2 years before the return of the Tenrou group, and she was currently pregnant with their first child, whom they intended to name Ochird.

The author decided to drop Hacim into the guild, providing them with enough people to perform adequately at the Grand Magic Games.

It was a normal day at Fairy Tail, 1 month before the return of the group, and everyone was setting up decorations for it.

"Sting, mind getting me the hammer over there?" Rogue asked as he stood on a ladder.

"Yeah yeah." Sting replied getting it

No one messes with the Twin Dragons of Fairy Tail.

**Yup, they are still canon. So they aren't part of the original continuity, their of THIS time. They joined Fairy Tail instead of Sabertooth. Mind blown? Romeo is an S-Class Wizard? Asuka is older? Cobra actually caring and even loving someone else!?**

**I had a blast with this first season, and in between one and two, I might drop a little chapter about the movie. Tell me if that is something you guys want!**

**So next season is going to be real interesting, because Sting and Rogue aren't back to normal yet. The dragon slayers have to be careful about what they say, as Sting and Rogue are digging for answers about how the others know so much about them. It'll be low key, so it'll still be about pointing out stupid things in the fandom and the series. **

**Tell me what you thought of this chapter! I started running dry as I was writing the end of this, but meh. I'm sure other authors understand the feeling of "This isn't enough, I need more, I need to write more!" No Author Corner today, so cya next time. Probably with AoA or Natsu vs Charizard part 3 of 3**


	9. Across this new divide

Cobra slammed his glass onto the bar. "Damn runts" he muttered

"You're really starting to sound like Makarov" Doranbolt strolled over to Cobra

"Hey you, long time no see. Get a drink, it's on the house, courtesy of Natsu and Gajeel" Cobra laughed. Doranbolt frowned as he ordered a beer.

"I take it the stress is starting to get to you?" Doranbolt asked

"Stress doesn't even begin to describe it Doran" Cobra sighed as he bashed his head into the bar.

"It's ok honey" Kinana said from over the bar, trying to balance 10 plates at once "I'm sure it'll get easier"

"It won't, Makarov said this job would be easy. He didn't account for Romeo, Sting, and Rogue! Those guys are worse than Team Natsu. At least Hacim has the decency to clean up after himself. Nope, Romeo and morons 1 and 2 just destroyed the Museum of Crown Jewels!" Cobra sighed as he leaned back.

"So why don't you discipline them? You know, Fairy Tail style!" Doran asked

"I already did that to Sting and Rogue" he sighed yet again

"What about Romeo?" the teleportation mage questioned

"Can't lay a single finger on the kid…. She can be scary sometimes" Cobra shuddered at the memory "Anyways, the guild now owes 5 million jewels to the towns of Crocus, Magonolia, and Flameside Shore." Cobra slumped "Now I have to file 837 individual reports to councils, the towns, and worst of all, to Makarov"

"Well that's what you get for accepting the job. Fairy Tail has a legacy for being destructive. That's without Natsu here. When he gets back…." Doranbolt downed his drink "That is going to be nightmarish. How much time do I have left before I need to leave this town for my own safety?"

"We have 2 weeks left. That gives us enough time for another chapter or two" at the moment, Team Fire Lighting Dark walked in the door, Cobra glaring daggers.

"….We're dead aren't we?" Romeo facepalmed

"I'm out" Rogue vanished into the shadows

"Damn, I'm dead" and that is the story of how Romeo, Sting and Rogue died.

**Short chapter, but I wanted to bridge the gap between the two seasons with BROTP Doranbolt and Cobra. Plus, subtle hints at what is to come of the first chapter of Season 2. Cya in a few days**


	10. Pervert in Japanese

**Hello everyone, here's the start of season two. Mind you, the theme is actually in the author note because none of the dragonslayers are smart enough to actually analyze what I saw. It was disturbing, perverted, and just terrifying someone would draw it. Anyways, here's the next chapter of Dragon's are perverts **

The Dragonslayers sat in their building for music lessons, something that all five of the true dragonslayers had been taught by their respective dragons.

"Man, this stinks sometimes" Natsu slumped in his chair

"Then why do you still play your instrument if you're just going to bitch about it?" Gajeel inquired. Meanwhile, Lucy, Levy, Erza, and Carla were planning of ridding Gajeel of his voice. Permanently.

"Because Igneel said that girls like guys who know how to hit the right cord" Natsu sighed. Gajeel and the twins had to hold back a chuckle that threatened to escape them.

"Sounds like Igneel was a pervert" Gajeel grinned. An idea popped into his head as he turned to the youngest out of them all. Wendy, who was played the flute.

"Hey squirt, did your dragon ever tell you why you play your instrument?"

"Grandine said that boys like a girl who can blow on a piece of wood." At which point, all the males started hollering

"Oh my word, were all our dragons that perverted?!" Sting rolled on the ground, clutching his stomach. Meanwhile, all of the girls had been listening in on this, they didn't trust the guys to be appropriate in front of her, but it turned out her dragon of all things had been a bad influence at times. Some of the girls blushed, while others merely giggled. Dragons truly are crazy sometimes.

"Wendy, can you go into the "Big Brothers are talking closet"?" She sighed as she walked over to the small room. It had a computer lacrima, and a TV with all 7 seasons of Fairy Tail. But why would you watch something that you lived? It also proved to be quite sound proof.

"Ok, so Igneel and Grandine were pervs, Gajeel, why do you play?" Rogue inquired

"I think the Metal bastard said something to the effect of "You need how to keep a good rhythm, if you catch my drift"" Gajeel, not being as clueless as the others around him, easily recognized his dragon's sexual innuendoes.

"Sting and Rogue, I don't think I need to ask anymore, we're 3 for 3, and I think the author miss-named his story. Dragons are perverted is more like it." Natsu got up and walked towards the door "Wendy, you can come out of the closet now." To which, everyone clutched their heads and groaned. Who's worse, them? Or the dragons?

**I had a blast writing the part above this sentence. I don't think its possible to write about this subject without being direct. So sorry the satire is gone out the window for this one.**

**I was a brave soul. I was a very brave soul. I looked up the most dreaded part of any fans heart. Hentai. I looked it up for this chapter to write about it. My first reaction to some of the pictures was "The hell?". I had of course looked up female hentai, and I found as many cliche's as possible. This subject is something that will follow me to my death bed. Hentai is both disgusting and ****terrifying. Why do I say terrifying? Well, if I told you I looked up hentai for Asuka, Wendy, and Mavis, would you believe me that there are about 15-20 pages worth of it? There was a point where I threw down my 3DS (which I was looking at it on, since it can't get virus's, allowing me to look at anything I so choose) because someone had drawn the most perverted image I had seen in my life. Keep in mind I'm not Catholic School girl innocent, but there is a line for me. I eventually got the nerve to look up Hentai for Charla... worst decision of my life. I will not write about the feelings that flew by me looking at these images, just know this. NEVER, LOOK, UP, FAIRY, TAIL, HENTAI, and keep in mind one thing, give or take, there were 100 pages worth of hentai for Fairy Tail alone... now think about the number of anime there are. Do your math, carry the 2. You can guess that there's more hentai in this world then there ever needs to be. I hate that I can't watch Fairy Tail the same way anymore. Whenever one of the females shows up on screen, an image appears in my mind and I'm forced to look away from the screen. Thankfully, after 3 months, that's started to die down, but its terrifying that people make hentai about 12 year old, and even worse, a 5 year old. Just be wary people. I regret even looking it up, and now its affecting my love for the show. **

**Authors Corner: Question is from myself**

**"****Since a new opening just came out, why don't you tell us your favorite opening in Fairy Tail?"**

**Here's a surprise, Snow Fairy/Opening 1 is my favorite. It just screams Fairy Tail to me, the flute is calming, but the song moves at a fast pace that I think matches the show perfectly. Slow and compelling, but at the same time, fast, exciting, and nostalgic.**

**Also, the new opening is great in my opinion. Definitely in my favorite of the 2014 series. Thanks for reading guys, cya next time.**


	11. Not the Bread-sticks!

**Sorry for the crap chapter this time around. I'm a bit busy at the moment and this was all I could make. I don't deserve any praise at all for this story. Next chapter will be better.**

Fairy Tail was setting up for its monthly dinner. This was a time for celebration and appreciation that they had lived another month. No one suspect Gray and Natsu to be huddling under one of the many flipped tables. "Not the bread sticks" were the only words they uttered. Soon, Laxus was digging up an Xbox 360 and saying things like "Get under my dick" and "Not enough Facebook friends". Almost everyone in the guild was acting idiotic, or against their normal personality. I said almost! Currently, Gajeel, Wendy, Sting, and Rogue were hiding in a corner, they were all that remained.

"What the hell is going on?" Gajeel shouted. Everyone else in the room gave him a weird look

"Who the fuck is that? Some sort of One Piece OC?" Natsu said in a Boston Accent

"If I had to guess, he's probably some Goth punk" Gray laughed as he continued "Hey mister, do us a favor, and cut yourself somewhere else" Natsu then said

"You're thinking of Emo's cave-man"

"Damn, I always get those two confused. But what does Goth do then?"

"Think they want the world to end by a Kraken or something of that nature"

The 4 remaining dragonslayers sweat dropped as the two continued to rant.

"What the hell is going on here?" Sting sighed

"That was a rhetorical question!" Erza punched him in the face "Anyone else have a question to ask?" Rogue opened his mouth to speak, but Erza promptly punched him in the face as well.

"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!" Erza declared

"Well, here goes nothing." Wendy took a deep breath "Do you know what rhetorical means?" Wendy asked. Erza kneeled to her level.

"Oh look, a Blue Exorcist OC, tell me are you shipped with Rin or Yukio? And do you have a severally detailed lemon with either or both?" Wendy's faced went to sheer shock in less than a second. Of all anime, why Blue Exorcist?

"Actually… I'm n-not an OC, I'm Wendy Marvell of Fairy Tail." Erza just laughed

"Great, another OC, go sit in a corner with Luffy/Goku/Ichigo/Naruto rip-off number 54021" Wendy looked over in the direction that Erza was pointing in. Hacim was currently crying the corner. I haven't watched Naruto, Bleach or One-Piece, how can I fucking rip it off?

Sadly, Sting and Rogue had been dragged to the X-box by Laxus, who managed to play without looking at the screen.

"Listen ass-hats, I need you to gank the brutes on the other side of this wall. And by gank, I mean act as meat walls while I throw grenades" Sting and Rogue tried moving to no avail

"Lol noobs, get on my level, you need to turn on your controllers." Both sighed, this was going to be a long campaign.

Gajeel had managed to dodge everyone. However, Episode 10 came out, and Gajeel was experiencing a change.

"Has anyone seen my earbuds by ? I need me some metal music." Gajeel said in a Texan accent. Great, now he's really a metal head.

Romeo was nowhere to be scene, but there was a reported scream of "Where's mom?! My dad's a crack head!"

About 3 hours later, Wendy had managed to sneak out of the corner, and Laxus had finally switched to online play, allowing the twins to leave.

"This started with breadsticks, maybe this can end with bread sticks." And so, the 3 got to work eating 853 breadsticks. Natsu and Gray returned to normal, and soon everyone returned to normal. The same could not be said for the three "Valiant" dragonslayers. All 3 of them had pulled a Violet Beauregarde, and were all the size of a comet

"We….are never….having Italian again" all of them agreed.

"What sucks is that the Abridged team is more consistent then the dub." Gray joked. Natsu elbowed him in the gut.

"Hey, that's next chapter idiot." The light then descended from the sky. The author is back and ready for some fun.

"None of you actually watch the Abridged series do you?" all of them sighed, the author had stumped them again. "Well, for those who don't understand any of this, watch the Pallet-Town-Champions Fairy Tail Abridged, it's worth the time. I honestly have nothing negative to say about it, which is normally my satire….. eh, next chapter we should be back to the norm." The author took a breath before turning to Natsu.

"Here, I believe I missed your birthday" The author smiled. Natsu however sighed

"I don't have a birthday idiot, I'm a demon, remember? " Natsu was back slapped up the head by the author.

"I'm using this as a plot device hoping no one notices" The author whispered through his teeth. He handed Natsu a helmet and left, but not before giving Hacim a look, to which he returned. It was time.

Natsu slipped the helmet on, which then told him to lie down. He did so. It then told him to say Link Start.

He did.

"Natsu YOU IDIOT!" Lucy screamed at his body.

"You guys want to follow him in?" Hacim asked, bringing 10 helmets with him.

"Not particularly" Laxus, Cobra, and Gajeel. Sting and Rogue decided to walk towards the door. That left Lucy, Erza, Gray, and Wendy willing to enter.

"The author also informed me he locked Levy, Mira, Kinana, Yukino, Lissana, and Romeo in there." Everyone tried to tackle Hacim, but there was an invisible wall between him and them.

"Your choice, you can either join them, or leave them to die in"

Fairy

Tail

Art

Online

**Welcome to the next Arc of Dragons are Crazy. FTAO. I dabbled with this idea for a day or two. Problem was that I didn't have time to write. Between catching up on homework, learning the new Hearthstone meta, starting One Piece and HunterxHunter, and wrapping up some paper work for boyscouts, I've been busy.**

**I'd like to thoroughly apologize for not being to update often these last couple of days, and the chapters that did come out were either A. Crap/Perverted or B. Not being able to bash on the subject at hand. Please forgive me guys, I have a lot on my plate, and Fanfiction is sadly at the bottom of the priorities. **

**Author's Corner: **

**What is your favorite abridged series?**

**SAO by SWEntertainment? I honestly found it funny how the character development there was better than the actual series. Definitely give them a look.**

**Next Chapter: Shouting Higher Numbers. (Both Episode wise for the dub, and in MMO's)**


	12. Shouting Numbers

Natsu digitized as he took in his surroundings. A simple town, a couple houses here and there but nothing major.

"Shit, where the hell am I..." Natsu's eyes widened as he remembered what happened. "Shit, the author hasn't updated in a month! I don't remember a bloody thing!". Suddenly a demon appeared out of the ground. "Iron fist of the fire dragon!" Natsu yelled, but nothing appeared. Natsu prepared to be hit, but nothing happened. "42!" the demon yelled. Natsu noticed that the red bar towards the top of his vision went down slightly. "So is this how you attack? Fine, 100!" The demon lurched back. "83" it yelled. "Fuck this, a googleplex!" And the demon vanished as a scroll took its place.

"Wow, this game is retarded. How does it get millions of subs?" Natsu put his hands behind his head as he walked down a stone path. Figures appeared to his right, and he was just about to yell a number when he heard "Hey bro". Only one person would ever call him that, and this person was like a sister to him now-a-days.

"Lissnna, what are you doing in this nightmarish hell hole?" He then took notice of his little brother... never mind, if Wendy was his little sister and Romeo was his little brother, that would be disturbing on way too many levels. He also noticed Levy engulfed in a book, Kagura polishing her sword, Yukino patiently sitting there waiting for the story to progress (Get on it author!), Mira serving beverages and Kinana sleeping against a tree.

"Great, all the ships are accounted for that matter in this story (Sorry Jerza and Elfgreen), now lets find a way out of this place. Knowing how this Sao crossover shit always works, I'm assuming we'll have Lucy, Gajeel, Wendy, Laxus, Sting, Rogue, and Cobra in bound soon."

"So how does the combat work here Natsu-nii?" Romeo asked

"Just shout Googleplex and you win, simple as that." A light appeared from the sky

"Hey guys, you can only shout the number of dubbed episodes the series has, have fun!" the author spoke as quick as he could before leaving.

"FUCKING REALLY!? We can eternally use the number 175 I guess because I have seen snails move faster then the fucking dub" A snail appeared out of no where with that comment and went from 0 to 60 in less then a second.

"Of course that snails name was Turbo but they don't know that"

**I AM SOOOO SORRY. My laptop broke and I had to write this chapter in the library near my house... so much for my dignity. Anyways, I think we can all agree that the dub is slower then the love child of a snail and turtle. Thanks for reading yet again guys, in about 2 weeks, I'll get my PC back so I can write more consistently. Damn my kitten, I love him to death, but he pushed my laptop off my desk... tsk**

**Which picture is my favorite out of the 5 currently shown for 19?**

**Well, Lucy's picture fits her, Erza's is albeit odd. Wendy's was (whats the word I'm looking for?) interesting? And Natsu and Gray was BAD-ASS, but I think I like Flares the most because of its theme and Chibi Lucy, Wendy and Erza. **


	13. Why do people make OC's?

**I know what you're thinking, didn't I already do this? Well, yes and no. Yes I covered OC's but never their roles in stories. So it's about time I elaborated on it.**

"Hi, my names Dravian!" a man donned in purple and gold spoke these words to Natsu and Happy who were searching for a bite to eat.

".. uhm, hi." Natsu replied in a weird way. This person didn't seem to have ill intent, something that came naturally with being a member of the front lines. Plus, Natsu wasn't the most famous member of the lines either, that would go to someone name Kiritwo or something like that. Guy wielded 2 swords, something I'm sure no one here is interested in.

"I'd like to join Fairy Tail." Happy spit out the fish in his mouth at this.

"You do realize that you can just go to our guild building right?" Natsu asked skeptically

"Oh, I know, but I wanna be part of Fairy Tails elite. I'm stronger than Levy, Wendy, and the twin dragons combined" To this, Natsu laughed. HARD.

"YOU. STRONGER THAN WENDY. DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. HER IN DRAGON FORCE IS JUST RIDICULOUS. HIRO MADE THAT A GIANT POINT. NOT INCLUDING THE OTHERS, YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE A 12 YEAR OLD!" At this point, Natsu was on the floor hollering. In typical fashion, this made a scene, and 6 other dragonslayers were slowly backing up.

"But it's true, I could one shot you." Natsu's spirit left his body.

The funeral was held cleanly and solemnly. Everyone could still hear his laugh, the one which had brutally murdered him. Lucy placed a rose at his grave. She never married for the rest of her life. Gray was saddened by the loss of a comrad.. I mean idiot. Erza swore to never eat another piece of cake in her life. About a week later, she cracked. And Happy, poor poor Happy, lost the one person that mattered most to him. The person who would buy him fish.

"... Lets just go to Happy."

"Aye" and with that, they walked away from the would be main character

**I haven't made a chapter in awhile, so its a little bad. Sorry. That being said, this is probably the best of Season 2 so far. To be honest, I don't get main characters. Why do people make their characters as the stories main? I mean, people read Fairy Tail to read FAIRY TAIL, not Dravian's story, its Natsu's, Lucy's, Gray's, and Erza's**

** Thanks for being dedicated, I'm feeling better about my life, so thanks for all your support.**

**Author Corner **

**I plan on remaking most of Season 2 in between the seasons. Cya**


	14. Abandoned Stories

**If you look at the list for Season 2, I think I made a funny joke. I was going to talk about how funny it is when an author delays a story. Hypocritical now, here we are.**

The moment was frozen in time, they had heard the word, next time, and everything suddenly froze.

"How come we can't move?" Natsu tried to asked. Nothing came out of his mouth

"What's going on?" You could hear a mmph from Erza.

"Can we not move til the author comes back?!" Natsu thought.

"Great, now I'm stuck in front of Lucy's skirt. Oh well, couldn't be too bad." Lucy immediately noticed Natsu was wearing a smirk on his face.

"Pervert!" She tried to scream. Nothing came out.

"You know, Natsu, I'm going to allow you to move however you see fit…. The douchebaggery is coming though" The author muttered that last part.

"Alright!" Natsu yelled. Natsu drew a beard on Laxus's face right away.

"Bastard" Laxus thought

Natsu then went to flip Lucy's skirt up for the world to see, leaving 90% of the group blushing, and 70% wanting to kill Natsu, there were children here!

"So if the world is Frozen." The group groaned, they usually killed Natsu the second he started this joke. "LET IT GO, LET IT GO!" Their eardrums ruptured. Blood spewed from their ear, and there would always be a few brain cells used to record this memory.

Thunder struck Natsu from the heavens. The author just whistled innocently.

"Fine. I think'll watch Cars 2 again." NOOOOOO! They all tried to scream, all it sounded like was light nnnnnn.

Now thinking about it, Tow Mater and Natsu do act similar…. Illuminati confirmed.

Eventually, when this chapter was posted.

"Free at last!" Lucy yelled as her skirt fell

"Man, I was starting to think we would be stuck forever. That's what happens when someone doesn't update." Gray said cracking his neck

"Wait, you're telling that if the author doesn't update, we're stuck like that forever?" Lucy asked in horror. Gray just nodded

"Those poor people trapped in other Fanfictions." Wendy whimpered

After performing a short ceremony for fanfictions that never get updated, the group set out to find Natsu. They were at floor 73, only 27 more to go. They tried sniffing him out. They tried track his foot prints. They even tried smoke signals. Nothing, it was as if he had vanished. He had. It was time for douchebaggery.

**Here we go, made a promise in chapter 8, and I'm gonna keep it. Reggie, vs, HBOX! Anywho, that's what I imagine happens when stories get canceled. They just sorta…. Become statues. Unable to move, forever locked in their current position, their current feeling, their current pain. Just stop what you're doing for one second and try not moving for a minute. Don't move into a comfortable position, just pause. You see what I mean? It's sucks when people delay their stories. I should know, it hurt me to delay this story. Anyways, next chapter is my funtime. A million and one implied lemons next chapter. Cya**


	15. Update

**I know you thought I was dead. I thought I was dead myself to be honest. I just sorta came back on a whim in August with a RWBY fic. I kinda just wanted to put something out, even if it was shitty. That'll be deleted in a bit. So, here comes the question….. what do I plan on doing with the story at this point? For new readers, welcome, for old readers, you'll notice I deleted a few chapters. I wasn't really happy with the content or the direction of that end of the story. So I've made my decision, I will finish this fic and take it in a new direction. It'll probably be my last story, I have kinda drifted away from FanFiction a bit and my end date with the site is coming close anyways. I told myself once "BashaButtons's SAO Fanfic: A new life" ends, I will be done with the site. He is on chapter 102 of 104, so it's almost time for me to go. I plan on reading a select few fics afterwards, but overall I'll be finished with the site.**

**Dragons are Crazy has taken a lot of weird and random turns, and I'm happy with the jokes from the early chapters even if the writing is a bit hand strung. So I've decided 3 things about this story, I will be re-writing my first 5 chapters to a higher quality of writing. It's really corny and out of wack, so I want to recapture the essence of the story with a better writing style.**

**One example of this is Natsu saying this line:**

**"Oh by the way, we can't mess with the Tenrou Arc, its need for the timeline"**

**Natsu was never really instructed on this by anyone, he just went out on a limb and said it in a bad way. One way I plan on changing the story is incorporating different ways of communication outside what is normally seen. An example of this:**

**"Natsu sighed as he sat on the roof of a random building, the wait was so boring and mundane. Metal brains should be showing up any second now, so he couldn't pull out his lacrima to catch some nearby Pokémon. As much as he wanted to catch the thing that was constantly making his phone vibrate, he wasn't going to risk it getting destroyed by that moron. Natsu sat there, focusing on anything but his right pocket. He wasn't going to catch this Pokémon, he needed to focus. But what if it was a Mew? Natsu's eyes grew at the thought of it. **

**"No, you can't make me" Natsu said to himself, shaking his head. Every second of Natsu's existence at that moment clinged to anything but the vibrations in his pocket. A red Pikachu appeared on his righshoulder.**

**"Don't you want to catch that beautiful Mew?" He grinned maliciously**

**He turned to his left shoulder, expecting to see a Pikachu garbed in white. He wasn't wrong, but the image was shattered as the angelic Pikachu sat on his ass flicking his fingers forward.**

**"Aren't you going to tell me to resist the madness?!" Natsu screamed as the red Pika laughed manically.**

**"What can I say, it's a fun game." As he continually flicked his paw forward, Pika reached for some dorritos.**

**Natsu fell to his knees, curling up into a ball and trying to prevent the inevitable from happening.**

**"Holy shit you're pathetic. Here I am trying to call you on my lacrima and you have a mental breakdown?" Gajeel sighed. Natsu was half tempted to stand up, yell his stupid metal face into next year, and sent his butt packing shortly after. Instead, Natsu stood up and whipped out his phone. While there wasn't a Pidgey, there was a line of missed calls by Gajeel and… a text from a random number? He decided just to open it, avoid any hoopla and such.**

**"Heyo, just thought I'd tell you that Tenrou has to happen. But don't fret, I'm making coffee tomorrow with some crumpets. I'll text you the address later. Tah Tah or whatever people say when they have tea with the queen and that good shit." **

**After showing Gajeel, the two started making their way back to Fairy Tail.**

**"So what do you think we should do? I mean, we have a few months until Tenrou anyways, so we have plenty of time to dick around" Natsu said with his hands plopped behind his head.**

**Gajeel thought for a moment before speaking. "I think we should save up some money for the guild so they can be a bit better off. I'd rather not work in that dinky shack for a month"**

**"I agree, we should really hit some missions for the next few months. Although, it won't be eas-" Natsu stopped as his phone vibrated.**

**"A RATTATA!" Natus screamed before bolting forward after it.**

**Gajeel sighed. "Why is he even bothering with that game, it went out of style two weeks ago. And what is the author thinking putting something that will be clearly dated in a few months?" This was gonna be a long few months.**

**As you can see, my writing style has changed A LOT over the months, and I want to try and make this story better with it. I also wanna try mixing up my comedy, so its not only satire, but also just funny at times.**

**So I bet a lot of you are wondering when I plan on ending it. How? When's your next chapter coming? Why do people go outside shirtless? Well, I don't know when or how I'm going to end it. My next chapter comes when it comes, I'm not gonna set dates that I won't meet. I need to be in the right mood to make this story work. People go outside shirtless because they don't give a fuck.**

**Anywho, while I won't set a specific date, I want at least 3 more chapters by years end. So until I see you next time, take care, have a good day. And any previous readers, thanks for sticking around, I appreciate your patience.**


End file.
